5 Major concerns of Single Parents
1. Timing Crunch: Unable to give time is a loud response of most single and working parent. Work-Life balance is often talked but hardly practiced by these single parents. It is quite an acceptable situation to believe, however a simple rule of life says “Larger the time you invest in any relationship, stronger the relationship will be” Going by this fact, one should plan as much time as possible to be with the child no matter what age is of your child. Here are some time tested techniques:
- Before and After office hours, make a systematic routine to shrink your world only for your child. Mobile phones and social media are a strict NO.
- Compulsory joint activity such a swimming, exercising, or even reading books together can bring magical outcome
- Try not to talk sensitive topics such as career, money, education, friends etc.,until you establish a deeper connection. Do not mimic yourself like your parent.
2. Missing Emotional Cord: Less time spend with child can lead to constant erosion in emotions. Creche and Baby sitting or even sometime your own people can not provide the emotional cushion that child seeks from you. By saying those sweet words like “love you my prince..” or “take care my princess” will not serve the purpose. What is needed is real emotions and not socially faked one. Here are some recommendations:
- Be with child in his/her own small world and just be there.
- Undivided attention and caressing as much as you can will help you a lot.
- Celebrate smallest moment of their day.
- Again, like suggested in earlier point, go on a joint activity, walking, playing etc will help you establish your loving caring image in child’s mind.
3. Lack of trust: As child grows older, he watches you going through your own personal grind, and continue to remain scared of loosing you, soon he will develop fear and mistrust. On the other side, he may start hiding things from you fearing a strong opposition. This cycle becomes frequent as the child grows older and turns in his/her teen age. Most recommended ways to build trust are:
- Do not hide anything from your child, be it your own relationship with other person, or your professional challenges.
- Share as much as you can with your child without doubting his/her maturity. This will open the highway of communication.
- Involve your child in all important matters and discussion, it will instil the sense of responsibility and develop transparency in relationship
4. Establishing Disciplines: The most difficult task for single parent is to establish the norms and standards of discipline in house. Since the amount of work and other responsibilities loom over head, parent might end up being softer to the child and more pampering parent. This behaviour is chiefly exhibited with a thought of not letting the child suffer the trauma of having single parent at home. But after sometime it becomes difficult to set the rules. Try following ways if that is the case:
- Set the ground rules and announce them.
- You adhere each rule without any exception.
- Discipline is better inculcated rather than being imposed.
- Bring Equality and Transparency in every matter and for every child.
5. Managing Career Aspiration: Majority working single parent feels that career is jeopardised if focus is shifted on child. Parent constantly remain under stress of being selective, selective for career, location, type of work etc. There are cases where even single parents have been successful. It is all about deciding priorities at the beginning and than setting the different family and professional goals. Here are some workable recommendations to manage your career aspiration:
- First thing first, set your short term, medium term and long term goals. Goals are family goals and professional goals.
- Identify and create a better support system
- Set clear expectations with child about the importance and need to have better career. Even you may have to set expectations with your parents.
- Set expectations with your employer, supervisor and other stake holders, about your time devotion for the work.
- Develop an acceptance for your strengths and your limitations, this will reduce self-stress.
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